Monday, March 7, 2011

Haiku Reviews of Classic Albums

1. The Clash, The Clash

If not for this al-
bum, I'd still be listening
to Janis Joplin.

2. The Replacements, Let It Be

If you're 16 and
don't have a girlfriend, listen 
to this--it will help.

3. The Smiths, The Smiths

It's physically
impossible to play
the guitar like that.

4. The Cure, Disintegration

Old enough to drive?
Then you've probably outgrown
this dreary record.

5. The Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed

Mick sounds like a blind
freaking mad man shrieking how
he is the monkey.

6. The Beach Boys, Pet Sounds

It's overrated.
Who wants to listen to "You
Still Believe in Me"?

7. The Beatles, Rubber Soul

Think all Beatles songs
are worn out from overuse?
"I'm Looking Through You."

8. The Pixies, Surfer Rosa

The naked woman
is the least astounding thing
about this record.

9. REM, Murmur

None of it makes sense,
but that guitar keeps chiming
on and on and on.

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