Monday, November 29, 2010

Bad Reviews of Great Books

Not everyone agrees with me, and I'm cool with that.  Here's what people on amazon.com had to say about some of my favorite novels.






1. Ironweed by William Kennedy


"WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME! I had to read Ironweed. I admit that the beginning was horribly slow, but I had faith that things would pick up. Boy was I wrong. This was a horrible book, and if you have to read it, may God have mercy on your soul."



2. American Pastoral by Philip Roth

"I can not think of why this book won the pulitzer prize. Of course is well written, but that's about that. Unless you love gloves... 
Very boring."



3. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

"Bad reading; the descriptions are okay, but the characters stink. The heroine doesn't seem lovable and great, she's crazy and stupid. It's bad. The drawing on the cover is as good as it gets

Why read this book? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: it's phony"




4. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"...Nick Hornby is a graduate of Cambridge, but the reader would not even begin to suspect that he graduated from Mississippi State."



5. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

"This is definatly one of the worst books I have ever read. Faulkner must have just accidently wrote a book or something…This book is boring, disgusting, and barely even makes sense. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone but Satan himself."




6. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 

"I thought I would like this book after reading the reviews, but I tried to start it and it went NOWHERE! Plus, it was really hard to read. And boring. Ugh. I don't recommend this book."



7. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

"!!!Spoiler Alert!!! 
Yam yam yam yam, beat my wife, yam yam yam yam, kill whitey, yam yam yam yam, beat my kids, yam yammity yam. 

There, you have now read things fall apart. My version costs less and takes much less time as well. 
Seriously though, we read this in high school and it is one of the worst books I have ever had the misfortune of reading.

Book sucked...the only thing you'll enjoy is saying 'Okwonko' over and over again."



(That last one is my favorite.)

1 comment:

  1. I love Roth as you know, and I love Am. Pastoral. I have to admit I got a little tired of the gloves.

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